Well the day has come...my first day back and Jayden's first day at daycare. The guilt has already hit me many times today and it is only 8 am. I know she will be well cared for and that she will learn and play and get lots of attention but it just is not the same as having her with me. If I brought binoculars to work I could probably see her little fuzzy head from my window to hers, so I am close but I already miss her. She seemed to know that something was different this morning and she seemed almost excited. Laughing and smiling while I was putting her jacket on getting ready to go. Me in tears and trying not to let her know that I was sad that our 12 weeks off together were over. I remember feeling the same with Mason but this time is just feels so much worse. I am just worried, worried about her getting stepped on or picked on by a bigger kid and not being able to defend herself, worried that she won't be able to sleep because it is a new place and so on. I really do know that she will be ok and that they do a really wonderful job taking care of her...it is just the first day and it will probably be a lot harder for me than her. I am planning on going over to feed and see her on my lunch breaks so I do get to see her during the day, for that I am thankful. I had to take a few photos of her on her "First Day of School." You can see that little bit of a smile, she was excited I know it, I should be happy for that. Mason has been told he can check on his sister and go and visit her if he wants during the day so I hope he does. Well I suppose I should get myself together and get ready for work. Today is my late night so I work 10-7. I have been up since 4:10, nervous, went to the gym, showered, ate breakfast, dropped off the kids and now had a few moments of silence to write this post. Wish us luck today as we start new things and get back into the swing of things. I will let you know how the day goes later!
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